Monday, September 7, 2009

The Age I Love

Jayk is 6 1/2. I ABSOLUTELY love this age he is in right now.

His independence has started to unfold like the drying wings of a young duckling. It is stretching wide as we allow the tether of childhood to unfold inch by inch. We have allowed moments for our Big Boy to venture out on his own and run ahead several paces - even out of sight momentarily.

The scales of his growing independence are balanced however with the tender moments of a young boy still needing his Momma. They are few and far between and I know I am nearing the end of the time when my little blonde-haired buddy will quit crawling into my lap needing a snuggle from the one that nestled him in her womb.

The growing independence of this boy balanced with this youngling still needing his Momma is what has my heart in a vice. I love to see his silly antics looking to be the center of attention peppered with a broken heart because his sister broke his lego truck he spent four hours creating. Oh, the teeter totter ride of emotions he is on.

I am privileged to be the one to cheer him on, watching him closely from the sidelines as he stretches his wings and flies. I am thrilled to be the one to lift him up when his broken heart has thrown him to the ground.

I am patient. I will wait for my turn. I am his Momma.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Another Year, Another Grade

I am writing to you from a position I have never been in before. Many of those reading have been in my shoes at some time or another. Some however are reading and taking notes as I blaze this trail before them. Whatever your position, here is my story.

Today came early as I awoke to a sunny morning. A grumpy and sleepy six year old joined me as we struggled to keep our eyes open while eating a bowl of Apple Jacks. Grumpy Boy became increasingly excited as the minutes ticked away nearing the time to leave the house (then again, it could have been the sugar in the Apple Jacks!).

Alas, the time arrived to head off. We jumped in the car, trying our best to make sure we had plenty of time for pictures and for mom’s sentimental moments. The traffic was heavier than I remembered, but we maneuvered our way on that familiar route.

The halls were crowded but I asked my little man to lead the way. He bravely took me by the hand and showed me where to go. Room 120 was our destination and he found it as if he had walked that way a million times before. Aside from our Open House visit, it was the first of a many number of trips he will take down that friendly hallway.

I snapped a few pictures and tried my hardest not to linger either in the hallway or in the classroom itself. Its another year, and again, I leave my baby in the hands of a complete stranger. Ugh, why????

Fast forward several hours to the end of the school day. I am nervous for my son as he tackles for the first time the big yellow school bus. I am not sure I am ready for what life on the bus ride home will teach him, but it is only a 4 minute ride. I park myself out on the swing on the front porch to wait for the first sign of Bus 987. I flinch every time a bus turns the corner, then finally I see it! A sweaty boy emerges with a big grin on his face, extremely proud of his accomplishment! I beam with pride as well to see his pride! Together we walk into the house as he tells me about first grade.

“First Grade is hard, Mom.”

“Why, buddy?”

“Well, you have to sit still all day long.”

“Like a statue?”

“Yeah, and you have to be quiet all day too.”

As I was tucking him in bed tonight, I questioned him again about first grade. “Mom, it was pretty good today. I think I like first grade.”

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Modern Day Blessings

Blessed be your name in the land that is plentiful.
Where Your streams of abundance flow, blessed be Your name.
Blessed be Your name when I'm found in the desert place,
Though I walk through the wilderness, blessed be Your name.

Every blessing you pour out, I'll turn back to praise.
When the darkness closes in, Lord, still I will say,
Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be your name.
Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be your glorious name.

Blessed be Your name when the sun is shining down on me,
When the world is all as it should be, blessed be Your name.
Blessed be Your name on the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering, blessed be Your name.

You give and take away, You give and take away.
My heart will choose to say, Lord, blessed be Your name.

The cry of our hearts is to honor God and let the words I say be a testament of His unfailing and undeserving goodness... Bless His Name!

Tony received a phone call today about lunchtime from a man named Marty. His words to Tony went something like this, "Sir, are you sitting down? My name is Marty from Modern Chevrolet. I have a car here for you that has been paid for as a gift to you. You need to come pick it up, please." After some convincing that this was indeed not a joke yet still with skepticism, Tony and I drove the 20 miles to the dealership to investigate. Marty, the salesman, was meeting with a customer when we arrived and quickly found a willing salesman to take his place with his potential buyer (yes, he gave up his potential sale in order to talk to us). He sat us down in his office and shared the story as much as he could. In a nutshell, someone (individual or a group, we are not sure) was obedient to God's leading and walked into the dealership, plunked down a handsome bit of change and purchased a vehicle for us. Tony snickered (Abraham laughed too!) and I cried like a little school girl. Touched nearly to tears himself, Marty went on to say, "My grandfather was a pastor and I grew up in church, but I am not a faithful attender myself. I know this one thing: THIS IS FROM GOD! Not only is this for you all, but this is a lesson of faith for me." Thirty minutes later, and thirty signatures later, we drove off the lot with a 2008 Chevrolet HHR.

We have pondered time and again whom this blessing could have come from and we have NO IDEA! We are settled in the fact that, just as Marty recognized, this is from God! We are no more deserving of this than the next guy, but we are grateful and we are humbled!

In the words of worship leader, Matt Redman... Lord, blessed be Your name! Every blessing You pour out, I'll turn back to praise. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

The decision

A friend of mine sparked a thought in my brain a few weeks ago. I have had a little time to mull over this thought and have waivered back and forth on the issue. If I agree to jumping on board with this then it will mean a small financial investment--more dramatic to me is the fact that it would mark the beginning of the end of an era for me. If I choose not to take on this challenge, I keep life status quo for the time being. I suppose this thought my friend placed in my brain is inevitable but I assumed it would come at a time I was more emotionally ready for it. But as she mentioned her own recent actions, I began to wonder if my time had come. I had been struggling day after day and week after week with this particular problem not even aware that it was a problem I was having. As she spoke the words, I had an "a-ha" moment and thus began the debate. Like I said, I have had a few weeks to ponder the issue and have tried carefully to weigh the financial and emotional cost and have decided to bite the bullet. I think it is time. I am committed. I am ready. Today.... I bought grown-up hangers for my son's clothes.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Who says it doesn't snow in North Carolina

Yesterday we got almost 6 inches of snow. The first thing that Jaykob said was, "Dad it looks like Michigan". The only difference is that it is going to be 70 degrees this weekend. We had some teens come over and we went sledding behind our church on a hill. It was fun to see our kids get to do something that I didn't think they would for a long time.